It creeps up on you, and determining just when it happened is almost impossible. Like a subtle cooling of the seasons, by the time you realized that it’s happened, it’s already done. Not that it’s a bad thing – you may try and fight it or resist it if you knew what was happening, knew the exact day that you would be released. Like an unexpected Spring snow, one day you just wake up and realize it’s gone.

You realize you’re over him.

It could be while you’re driving in the car and a song comes on that used to make you think of him. You find yourself singing along, just enjoying the tune, and only after it’s over it occurs to you that it used to be his favorite. Or perhaps his birthday passes and you realize later that you didn’t remember. Or maybe, just maybe, you run into him unexpectedly and feel no sadness, feel no rage, you feel – Nothing.

It’s the soul’s way of exhaling, this magical release of feelings. Breakups cause people to experience the gamut of emotions, from sadness to anger to loss to fear to emptiness…I could go on. Whether it’s a mutual end to a tumultuous coupling or an unexpected blow, few are immune to the wrath of feelings associated with breakups, and these feelings last days, weeks, months and – I’ve seen it – years. People move on, get over it, on their own time, with friends, family, and possibly even new love interests soothing some of the open wounds with care, love, and laughter. Feelings wane over time — where once a dagger through the heart is now a small pang of remembrance. And then one day, it vanishes.

It’s cathartic, really. Realizing that the soul & the heart mend themselves seems nearly magical. It lightens your step. It opens your eyes. It frees you from wondering, worrying, caring. It’s a whole new world of possibilities at your feet. It allows you to be fair to your new relationships, to enter them unabashedly and without the pang of someone half-broken. It’s healing, it’s helping, it’s healthy. And it’s mine.